before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
