So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
