quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I want to be your penis for a week.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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