He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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