Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
