He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize
