We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
