Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
