Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
