i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
