The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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