She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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