okay pat passed out under dana's car
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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