Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Vodka?
Forever.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
