there was a trapeze. enough said
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
