i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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