playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
