If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
