Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
