i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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