Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
