You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
you made out with another girl for some wings
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
