you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
