tell your sister to shave her snatch
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
