He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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