I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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