ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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