in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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