I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
