Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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