so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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