Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
