win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
