if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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