His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
