I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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