He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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