i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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