Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
