Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
