I hate all girls vehemently.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
people are starting to question the shark bite story
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Randomize
