He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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