Well apparently he's into motor boating.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
