Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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