haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
