It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
