There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
