Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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