I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
