did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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