Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
