I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
