so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
